Crisis of Confidence

I started making consolation plans in case I don't get an internship in D.C. this summer.

I got an email from a congressman's office today that said they don't have any positions available for summer, but that they are considering me for the fall semester. I've had two interviews, one with another congressman's office and one with a senator's office. I think the first went really well, while I think I botched the second one. I really don't know why I was so nervous in the interview. I'm not usually nervous about talking to people- I thrive on it. Why was this so different?

I really couldn't figure it out and it almost drove me to tears. The only thing that kept me from crying is that I had to respond to a sample constituent letter as the second part of the interview and I wasn't going to cry in public. I had some good answers and they liked that the internship is directly related to my desired career path. But when they asked me what I wanted them to remember about me out of the 40 applicants, I sounded like John McCain on the campaign trail; I couldn't stay on message and started rambling.

Now I'm doubting myself.

Even though I applied for 15 different internships, there's hundreds, even thousands, trying to internships just like me. I have faith, but I don't want to not have a backup plan. I would try to apply again in the fall for these internships, but I will have to postpone my graduation until April - which I won't do.

I had planned on taking 3 classes this summer: the internship, public speaking, and a science. The latter two are available online. Upper level Comms classes just aren't offered in the summer.

I guess my options are to take classes and either find an internship locally or just get a job. I really want a PR job, but (1) I won't have a degree until December and (2) most PR jobs have been slashed because of the economy.

It just sucks when you realize not all dreams come true.